Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
My idea of housework: Sweep the room with a glance.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
Junk is something you keep for years then throw away 3 weeks before you need it.
By the time you can make ends meet, they’ve moved the ends.
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
Don’t forget Daylight Saving Time Begins Sunday, March 13th.
Spring forward! Be sure to set your clocks an hour ahead when you go to bed.